4 Ways to Love Your Body Before You Lose Weight

Statistics say that 80% of American women are dissatisfied with their appearance, and 50% of American women are on a diet at any give time.

This means that a lot of women are really unhappy about what they see in the mirror. Are you one of them?

Healthy weight loss takes time, as does creating a positive body image. This can be frustrating, because how we feel in the interim can make all the difference in sticking to our goals for greater health and self-acceptance in the first place.

But there are things you can do to love and support your body---as well as your body image---now, even with the extra pounds, and not in some future time when you achieve your weight loss goals. Here are four ideas:

1. Act as if you already have your ideal body. How many times do we say, "I'll do XYZ when I lose 10 pounds?" Don't put your life on hold waiting for someday. Buy a bikini, take up dance lessons, and go after the promotion---even with the extra weight. Often, we blame our bodies for not pursuing our goals---I'm too fat; I'm too old; I'm not pretty enough---when the truth is, our bodies are merely a convenient scapegoat. Yes, it takes courage to put yourself out there, but that is true whether you're a size 2 or 22. Recognize the "wait until I lose 10 pounds game" is just a construction of your ego to keep you from acting. The circumstances will never be perfect, just as your body will never be perfect. Swallow your fear and act now.

2. Celebrate what makes you feel beautiful. When we're jealous of another woman---whether it be our thin, fashionable neighbor or a thin, fashionable movie star---it's often because that woman speaks to something that is missing in our lives. A good question to ask ourselves is, Do we envy her body, or do we envy what her body represents? For example, I've admired/envied Katie Holmes. Is it because she's beautiful and has a lovely figure? No. I envied her because she has impeccable style and fabulous clothes:  something that makes me feel beautiful---yet's been missing in my life as a work at home mom of four. I used this insight to find ways I could meet this need in my own life, instead of vicariously living it through celebrity obsession, or, worse, beating myself up because I don't look like a movie star. I often get dressed up in a skirt and heels for a dinner at home...just because, or wear a killer outfit just to go buy eggs and applesauce. This small act does wonders for my body image, and my self-esteem:  because I'm living my beauty ideal rather than wishing or waiting for it.

3. Spend more time with real women; less with celebrities. It's easy to lose our perspective when we saturate our minds with images of celebrities and movie stars---women who make their living by their appearance---instead of images of real women's bodies. Instead of looking to stars for inspiration, look to the women in your circle:  your sisters, neighbors, friends and co-workers. You'll see that nearly every woman has cellulite; that stretch marks are common on mother's bodies, and that a little wiggle and jiggle is normal. Better yet, when these supposed "flaws" belong to the body of someone you love and care for, such as a good friend, it enables you to translate the same acceptance to your own body. We feed feelings of shame and self-loathing when we compare ourselves to the impossible ideals of the media:  even models and celebrities don't always look like their magazine covers.

4. Uncover what's really bothering you. In her thoughtful book, Life Doesn't Begin 5 Pounds from Now, Jessica Weiner writes about decoding the "language of fat." When you say, "I'm fat," what do you really mean? What's really bothering you? For example, let's say you're shopping for a new outfit for a job interview, and you feel "fat" trying on clothes at the mall. Are you feeling fat, or frightened about your job interview? Likewise, if you feel "too fat" to wear a bathing suit, what's underneath the fat? Is is fear that you won't be accepted at your current size? Is it shame that you've used food for comfort and gained an extra 30 pounds? We often use our bodies or external rewards---food, alcohol, shopping, gossiping, TV---to express our feelings, instead of actively feeling or sharing them. Instead, try keeping a feelings journal. Every morning, check in with yourself? How am I feeling? Write them all down, good and bad. Let yourself feel your emotions. Pour them out, so that you don't pour them into your body as fuel to feed the fires of self-hatred.

Looking for more ideas to gain a healthy body image, to love your body, lose weight, and add self-care to your life? I highly recommend JoLynn Braley's powerful series, 31 Days of Loving Yourself Thin. Inspired by the work of Hay House founder and author Louise Hay, JoLynn offers fantastic ideas to love yourself thin such as losing weight by making yourself a priority, forgiving yourself for past mistakes, and giving yourself a break from thinking about your weight. To access the entire series, head to this page. JoLynn's blog, The Fit Shack, offers readers ways to integrate the mind, body and spirit for abundant health.

Author Nancy Bruno also wrote a wonderful book, Beautiful Women:  Celebrating Beauty in Stories and Stills, that combines black and white photographs with essays about women of all ages, shapes and sizes. While on the beach in Italy, Nancy noticed the contrast between Italian women's comfort with their bodies---whether young or old; thin or fat--- and her comfort with her own. As Nancy writes, "My immediate observation was, 'If these women can feel this free and be this happy, why can't I?'" Her journey to chronicle real women's bodies led her to the creation of her book.

Other posts you may like:

The Best Way to Lose Weight

9 Tips to Love your Pregnant or Postpartum Body

4 Ways to be Kind to our Bodies...and Our Body Image

How to Feel Good about Yourself when You Don't Love Your Body

Comments

[KC]

The points you have made are excellent. I have been putting off several things (including dating and starting a business that I have wanted to start for several years) and a huge reason is that I don't feel good enough, pretty enough, smart enough...etc. etc. etc. I will continue to look to the information and encouragement that you provide for inspiration!!!

[JoLynn Braley]

Spend more time with real women; less with celebrities.....this is so so true Karly! I grew up devouring the teen and women's fashion mags - I thought, "if I look like that, then my life will be perfect", because they're all so happy!

What's sad about this is that we're comparing ourselves to something that isn't even real. Those images are photoshopped, and yes, the models and actresses do have cellulite.

Thanks for a wonderful reminder, and also for the beautiful way you recommended my site to your readers - I'm honored by your kind words.