Use Your Body: Find a Physical Outlet to Create Body Pride

While loving our bodies is ultimately a spiritual issue, we need a conduit:  a way to connect our amorphous, spiritual self with our juicy, earthy humanity. And what better avenue for learning to love the body then by using the body? After all, we are human beings:  we learn and grow by experiencing life in a physical form. In our focus on what our bodies look like, we forget their true function:  to be used. Author Susan Kano says a body doesn't want to be just an ornament, it wants to be an instrument. I'm reminded of a poem by Marge Piercy, "To Be of Use." In it, she writes:   

Greek amphoras for wine or oil,
Hopi vases that held corn, are put in museums
but you know they were made to be used.
The pitcher cries for water to carry
and a person for work that is real.

Our bodies are like those Greek amphoras:   created with beauty in mind. But, while beautiful, they are also functional. Celebrating your body's appearance without appreciating its purpose would be like having a beautifully decorated kitchen, outfitted with professional appliances, a fabulous layout, and ample counter space, that is never used for cooking.

Let's cook in our kitchens. As Marge Piercy reminds us, our bodies are crying out "for work that is real." For centuries, social norms kept women from using the full physical power of their bodies. No wonder women felt disenfranchised.

There is a tie---an invisible umbilical cord---between how you feel in your body and how you feel in yourself. If you are uncomfortable using your body---getting sweaty, getting dirty, enjoying sex---you will be uncomfortable with all aspects of yourself, and not just your physical form.

So let's dig in the dirt, literally:  What makes you feel strong, tough and invincible? What makes you relish in your physical self?

For me, running is my conduit. I feel strong, powerful, and alive when I run:  like I can do anything. I love nothing better than pushing myself on a beautiful, crisp morning run, returning to my door sweaty and wrung out. Running reconnects me to the young girl I once was:  the girl who approached life with confidence and optimism. After a run, my formerly insurmountable problems are diminished, my outlook more positive, my confidence increased. Running restores me to myself.

What restores you to yourself? It may be walking, rock climbing, or biking. I know a woman who loves her work in a mine, a stereotypical "man's job." She has biceps that Angela Bassett would envy, and feels incredibly powerful using her body in such a physical way. Another friend feels best when she's sweaty and hasn't showered in several days and is in the middle of a week long hike, packing all her goods on her back. Another woman find delight in conquering a difficult yoga pose.

Can you think of two or three things that make you feel strong and powerful? How can you add these things to your life? Start where you are:  what can you begin to do today? You may not be able to perfect that handstand tomorrow, but you can start working towards it, one push up at a time.

The important thing is to start:  there is incredible delight in the process. Why? Because you're aligning your actions with your values. It feels good when your behavior and your beliefs match. If you say you want to love your body, using your body to tackle a physical challenge will align those goals in synchronicity. And as you use your body, and appreciate its strength and abilities, guess what happens? You naturally start to feel good about your physical self. Lo and behold, you start loving your body.

But our bodies are not only for growth:  they are also for celebration, joy, and delight. There is a time to work, a time to sweat, a time to reap. But there is also a time to dance. A time to celebrate. A time to relax. Your body should make you happy; do you use your body for joy, beauty, and delight?

My favorite picture of myself was taken just after giving birth to my son. I'm sweaty and splotchy and flabby and free of make-up, but I felt Goddessly gorgeous. I also feel beautiful when I'm dancing with my husband, even if I'm in my sweats in the kitchen. I feel beautiful when I'm enjoying a girl's night out, laughing so hard with my girlfriends that I nearly pee my pants. I feel beautiful when I'm making love with my husband, when every nerve ending is exploding with pleasure. I feel beautiful when I'm driving somewhere with my children, and we're all singing along with the ipod at the top of our lungs. I feel beautiful listening to a new couple recite their wedding vows.

What do all these events have in common? They have nothing to do with how I appear on the outside. By contrast, I feel beautiful at these times because I'm not thinking about what I look like. In those moments, I'm thinking about how much I love my body and the pleasure it gives me:  the ability to experience the crazy, loopy roller coaster of life. I'm living my life, enjoying the moment, not living my life through my head, analyzing the moment. I'm not thinking about the size of my thighs or whether my butt looks big or about the zit on my nose. I'm relishing what is:  a chance to celebrate life, through the most tangible vehicle I own:  my body.

So dust off your body. Take the running shoes out of the closet. Are you itching to dance? What are you waiting for? If you're worried about being the largest woman in the room, I guarantee that you'll have company:  there's at least one other woman who's concerned about how big she looks, too. Start. It feels incredible to use your body:  to recognize that we're not a vase that is put up on a shelf, but one that is filled with flowers, to enjoy.