How do you see yourself? Use visualization tools to change your body image.

"Whatever is happening in your life is coming from an image you hold about yourself."

Sanaya Roman

Create New Mental Pictures

Did you ever wonder why being around certain people triggers outdated or old behaviors that you are trying to change? For me, this was true with my parents. Whenever I was with them, I found myself acting like a bratty teenager.

Why is this? It's because your mental pictures --- how you see yourself in your mind --- and others' mental pictures of you --- how they see you in their minds --- has an incredible influence on your behavior. This also explains why a formerly obese woman who has lost considerable weight may still view herself as fat:  her mental picture hasn't changed along with her body.

Sit down, close your eyes, and think about your mental pictures. How do you view your body? Is it positive? Or are you holding onto outdated, untrue pictures? Do yours tell you that you're fat, old, ugly, and not good enough? Guess what? Your behavior will prove that true, over and over and over again. You will treat your body as if it's fat, old, and not good enough.

Can you be motivated to go to the gym when your mental picture is of a flabby, unhealthy body? Not at six a.m. If your mental picture is of a frumpy Mommy, can you put on a skirt and feel comfortable? I'd say not. If you envision yourself as a faded beauty, how will you feel when you encounter a smashing 20 year old with perky breasts and dewy skin? Probably really, really jealous of her, or really, really bad about yourself.

Try this instead:  Imagine yourself as a poised, polished princess. Or as a glowing mother-to-be, radiantly beautiful. Maybe you're a strong, powerful athlete. You can be a graceful dancer, a transcendent matriarch, a funky artist, a fashion diva. You can form a mental image of whatever you want to be.

One of the easiest ways to create a new mental image is to make a dreamboard, a photo collage of images that speak to you. Gather pictures, words, magazine clippings, poems, anything that makes your spirit sing. Make a collage of your ideal physical self.

I've made several of these over the years. In the first one I made, I chose images of super skinny fashion models. Not the smartest move I ever made. Today, my collage has a chic woman in a beautiful white suit; a sweaty runner; a woman playing on the beach; a yogi in a difficult yoga pose; a woman without make-up, laughing; and a woman in a fabulous cocktail dress. These images speak to me and the way I want to see myself.

Once you've constructed a new mental image of yourself, try it on. Everyday, every hour, every time you look at yourself in the mirror. Let it become your new mantra. When your inner critic tells you that you're fat and dumpy? You now have a reply. No, I'm a sensual, curvy new mother.

But don't stop there. First, focus on creating a new mental picture for yourself. But then send others---your lover, your girlfriends, your peers---this new mental picture, too. Why? By sending others a new picture, you can influence their expectations and beliefs about your appearance. Then, move onto step three:  send other women a new picture of themselves. Do you have friends who body bash? You can help elevate their mental pictures about themselves into something better. I do this all the time:  whenever a woman shares a story about how she dislikes her body, I send her a mental picture of herself as a beautiful woman. I send her an image of how I see her, which is one hundred times more generous than how she views herself.

This is part of the way we can heal this body image issue for women once and for all. It starts with one woman, loving her body. Then as her mental images grow and evolve, she can grow and evolve other women's mental images, too. And then it starts to grow, and grow, until more and more women have higher and higher mental images of their bodies.

And then what happens? I can't wait to find out.

Comments

[tahli]

hello, how are you? Im 21 years old, i came across this article and loved it...i thought it was beautiful...i want to love my body...im lossing weight at the moment...not too much, i like my curves...but i want to be taller...i just dont feel as attractive or comfortable at this height...i know the height id like to be and im trying to create a new picture in my mind of having long beautiful legs...if i do this enuff and drill it into my head the image of myself that i desire..nothing drastic, but a healthy slim, yet curvy beautiful taller body...do you think this is a good way of going about it??? becuase i do believe your thoughts affect your body....does it work for you? have a nice day :)
Tahlia

[dashley]

You can't change your height by changing your weight. That ship has sailed. But there are always high heels, or you can trade me for my height =].