Hold a firm intention that you can stop overeating

When we overeat, use food for comfort (emotional eating), or binge, we reach a point where we’d like to change our behavior. Often, our disgust is what motivates us to change. We feel fed up with our behavior – the overeating, the weight gain, the food binges. “Enough!” we say, and we embark on a pathway of change.

All is well and good until we feel frustrated in these efforts to change. We don’t see the progress we’d like. We take two steps forward, one step back. Do great some days and terrible on others. We feel discouraged.

If this is where you find yourself, I’m here to remind you that you can change. That you can stop overeating. And you can stop overeating without scolding, judgment, or self abuse.

The key is perspective. How do you view yourself? Do you believe that you are merely an evolved animal, bound to habit and instinct? Or do you see your divinity, intertwined with your humanity? Do you accept that you are created in the image of God:  worthy, whole, beloved, divine? Richard Cecil said it best:  “Every year of my life I grow more convinced that it is wisest and best to fix our attention on the beautiful and the good, and dwell as little as possible on the evil and the false.”

How can you focus on the beautiful and the good in you?

When you believe that you are your humanity, that you are your faults, weight, overeating, then you’re dwelling on the false. It will cause you endless suffering. If you believe that you are fundamentally, inherently flawed, your life will be one giant self-improvement program. You will constantly try to prove your worthiness; to improve; to get better; to be more acceptable; to get it “right.” But you will never feel good enough, because you’ll never be perfect enough. You will toil endlessly, and your mind will roil endlessly, abiding in anxiety.

Instead, acknowledge your divinity. “Dwell in possibility,” as Emily Dickinson wrote. What does that mean? On a practical level, it means holding a high vision for yourself:  believing in your transformation. Believing that you can have a peaceful relationship with food. Seeing yourself evolving and changing.

“Do not build up obstacles in your imagination,” as Norman Vincent Peale said. How do we build up obstacles in our imagination? We create mental pictures, records, transcripts, that we play over and over again in our minds. We show ourselves repeating our mistakes. No wonder we feel despondent. We don’t really believe that we can change.

But you can offer yourself a new mental picture. You can create an image of yourself that fits with who you really are. You can dwell in possibility, where every moment, every second, is a genesis:  a new beginning; an opportunity to chart a new course. This is abiding in divinity.

Here’s how you make this concrete:  Act as if you will succeed in your goal. Act. Don’t think. Don’t ruminate. Act. So say no to the sugar; push the extra food away – for now. Keep acting as much as you can. With every victory, with every success, you build your confidence. You fuel your momentum. You put more and more of your energy towards what you want – freedom from food – and less towards where you were, what you don’t want:  slavery to food.

Focus on where you want to go. Where you’re headed. Create those good feelings in your mind, right now – not at some certain point when you feel “together.” Imagine yourself where you want to be a year from now. 10 years from now. Bring this person back with you, to your present. How would she act? What would she do. And then do it. Do it over and over again, as best as you can. Over time, your future self – where you want to go – becomes your present reality. And you find yourself grounded in new habits, in new creations, living our your intentions.

• Want help? Check our Heal Overeating support program.