Sometimes, we love our bodies. We feel effortlessly beautiful. We’re confident and secure in our beauty. We feel proud, happy and content.
But sometimes, we don’t love our bodies. We feel grubby and unkempt. We feel frumpy and flabby. We feel old. We see the results of our not-so-good habits, and often, this leads to shame, regret, and self-loathing. So not only do we feel bad because we look like crap, we feel bad because we feel bad about looking like crap.
Just as it’s abusive to pour venom over our bodies because of a few (or more than a few) pounds, or to hate our bodies for getting older, it’s just as unkind to berate ourselves for not loving our bodies. They’re all judgment; they’re all violent.
When I decided to leave the diet/binge/body bashing treadmill for good, I assumed that loving my body would mean that I, well, would love it. Always. All the time. I wanted the high of newlywed bliss, the rapture of the honeymoon, the buzz of self-love. I didn’t want to accept the inevitable valleys, the routine, the days without the high.
Now I have a different perspective – loving my body may mean accepting those times when I don’t love my body. Or maybe I do love my body, but am not so appreciative of its quirks – sickness, an ugly skin rash, chin hairs, spider veins, cellulite, love handles, and more.
Does this mean I hate my body? Why no. Can I love my body, even while I’m not so thrilled with these quirks? Absolutely.
While loving your body is an admirable goal, and one I wish for every woman, sometimes it’s difficult. And this is normal and okay.
Instead of making our feelings something to fight against – I should love my body – can we sit with them? Can we embrace them? Can we explore them – what do they look like? What do they say? What’s the deeper message?
When I let go of this judgement, I feel lighter. I stop fighting against my feelings – “I shouldn’t be feeling this way!” This lightness lessens the intensity. I find perspective, I relax in my frustration, and the chin hairs and cellulite don’t vex me quite as much.
As you journey into loving your body, unearth your compassion. Love? Yes, it will come. But we can love our bodies without loving everything about our bodies 100% of the time.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
I *hate* my body. I am over 50, I have *hated* my body as far back as I can remember. I HATE it. There are no words to describe how much I hate it. It’s UGLY. Sorry, but all the positive thinking and compassion in the world won’t change a damn thing. I better get a nicer one in my next life….Life sucks when you’re ugly.
Editor’s note: This comment was edited due to language.
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Bookmarked your post over at Blog Bookmarker.com!
great post!! Thank you for the great tip about looking at a photo of ourselves as a baby. An excellent idea and one that I will definitely remember.
Wow! I came by your blog through BlogHer. Your headline captured my attention. Your post is fantastic. Every line captured my attention. I look forward to reading more. This topic is right on the mark for many of us. I love your tip about looking at a picture of ourselves when we’re a child and thinking about what other people look like when they are children. What a fresh perspective on “silencing that inner critic.” This would work great for anger too!