Are You Highly Sensitive? How Sensitivity Impacts Your Body Image

I’ve often wondered why some women fall prey to media images and our toxic beauty environment, while others remain unaffected. Is it just a matter of good genes, of being blessed with beauty? But I’ve met plenty of supermodel-quality women who don’t feel good about themselves.

I think other factors are at play, like sensitivity. Are you sensitive or intuitive? Are you a “sponge,” easily picking up on other people’s feelings, thoughts or emotions? Do you sense other people’s judgments? Are your feelings easily hurt?

I’m sensitive, and can answer “yes” to all of the above. Being sensitive can feel as if you don’t have any armor; like you’re walking around without skin. Your emotions are easily influenced. You cry easily. You laugh easily. This can feel like a curse. I felt this way about my sensitivity for a long time, especially since I often heard the refrain, “Stop being so sensitive.”

I see sensitivity in a different light. I believe it’s a gift, something to be celebrated, not shamed. It means your heart is soft. You aren’t hardened, jaded, or cynical. You’ve chosen to let yourself be vulnerable, to see the interconnectedness of humanity, and of life itself. You serve as a mirror, illuminating to everyone around you the myriad opportunities to offer compassion.

But if you’re sensitive, you can also fall prey to other people’s moods, thoughts and feelings—and be completely unaware that this is happening. It may be hard to separate your thoughts and feelings from someone else’s.

This is where it gets even trickier:  you may sense things that are unsaid, or unspoken. So your partner or girlfriend or husband may say, “But I never said that.” They didn’t have to:  you perceived the message, even without a word being spoken.

So what does sensitivity have to do with loving your body? If you’re sensitive, you’re probably picking up on countless, unsaid thoughts, feelings, beliefs and emotions from your environment. As a little girl, you might have picked up on your mother’s unhappiness with her body.  As a teen, you might have absorbed your girlfriends’ dissatisfaction and body hatred. As a woman, you feel bombarded by the media, by our entire society’s preoccupation with the body. If you have a neighbor or a friend who’s hypercritical of her body, you pick up on this, too. But not only do you sense these feelings, you absorb them. This may mean you begin applying these thoughts to your own body.

By contrast, someone who’s not sensitive may have an easier time separating their thoughts about their body from someone else’s thoughts (the media, a girlfriend, a sister) about their body. They have armor, a way to protect themselves.

If you’re sensitive, it’s important to put on your armor, to protect yourself so you’re not so easily swayed by others. Your armor is primarily internal. This starts with a positive mindset, offering yourself  compassion for being sensitive in the first place. As a young woman, I viewed my sensitivity as if it were a character flaw:  something that needed to be changed in order for me to grow up or become “strong.” Today, I lovingly accept my sensitivity. But I don’t stop there:  I take steps to fortify myself. Solitude, prayer, and meditation are key for me. These practices ground me. They connect me to my spirit. But they also help me become familiar with my own voice, feelings, and emotions, so that I’m aware of what’s mine and what’s someone else’s. I’ve created awareness, so I can question my emotions or thoughts, instead of accepting them as true.

I have a sensitive friend who wisely prays, “Help me separate what is mine from what is others’.” I often visualize a veil of protection that I put on before I make my way out in the world, where only loving thoughts come in, and loving thoughts go out.

Two authors that have greatly helped me are Elaine Aron and Judith Orloff (I recommend Positive Energy.) These books helped me understand why, for example, I dislike malls or shopping centers, and gave me tools for living with my sensitive personality.

Recognizing the role my sensitivity played in my body image issues gave me freedom and understanding. Examining your sensitivity can help you, as well.